"These weren't my lungs, really, these weren't my ugly gasps. It was as though they were being expelled from me. Vomited up. Like I was simply a vessel for someone else's life.
I don't know how else to explain it."
In this slim collection of personal essays, an introspective analysis of a woman's life lived in a world shaped under the male gaze meets a breakdown of consciousness, conscience, illness, and power. Guided between topics by crushingly frank language bordering on sublime, Boutsikaris' lived experience overcomes the reader in a tidal wave.
Literary Nonfiction. Women's Studies. "No one is safe from Nina Boutsikaris' gaze in this book--she looks at the world and people around her just as intensely as she turns her gaze inward, questioning her desires, her actions, and asking what it means to see something for what it truly is. I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU I'M SORRY pairs art with experience, youth with introspection, and gender with power--the dance between these topics makes for an utterly absorbing read."--Chelsea Hodson "I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU I'M SORRY is not so much a memoir as an experience. Be prepared to fully immerse yourself in a world that's both gorgeous and dangerous, led by a guide who has found herself at the outermost edges of what language can bear. I've never read anything quite like it. Nina Boutsikaris is a compelling new voice in creative nonfiction."--Brenda Miller "An intelligent and radical rumination on gender, sexuality, fear, and romance. A topical and evocative book for anyone with a brain."--Chloe Caldwell.